Really?

If you are looking to make yourself feel better about life, you have stumbled upon a little gem of voyeurism that you will not be able to pass up. Trust me. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. And I have....

Let me begin by introducing myself. I'm a thirty-something, single educator who lives in an apartment complex in Nowheresville, USA with a roommate and three cats. (One of the cats is currently on hiatus.) After seven years of living alone, I recently decided to find a roommate to save on bills, curtail my enthusiasm for sleeping entire weekends away, and to enlarge my social circle. It's been six months. Nothing and everything has changed.

Upon moving, which entailed an enormous amount of down-sizing on my part (because, really? do you know how much crap a teacher can accumulate in ten years?), I found it necessary to purchase several things which allow me to keep up with my roommate, who is ten years my junior. You read that right. TEN years my junior. If you are good with math...you may have just figured out that my roommate could have been my student. True story. Don't worry though. We decided in the first week that we are the same person. In fact, I am quite certain that to several people we are. More on that later.

The most important investment I made because I was saving money by sharing an apartment? A Blackberry. These devilish little devices are so handy and fun that one quickly forgets how addicting they can be. Having the world at my fingertips is quite handy, especially when stuck in traffic, trying to avoid awkward conversation, or just wanting be a little bit rude so some jerk will leave me alone. It's also great because I would never consider texting while driving with one. Even making a phone call is a challenge. So, thank you Blackberry. By making my life simpler...you've potentially saved lives.

Right. So. On the topic of not sleeping whole weekends away? One might shake their head in disbelief that a thirty-something would do such a thing. Well...believe it! I am responsible for no one other than the two cats I own (Who own me?) and myself. I'm a productive member of society, I deal with other people's children on a daily basis, and I deserve a break. Don't judge. Well, I FELT that way. After taking a long, hard look at what I was doing...the added benefit of adjusting to someone else's life had some appeal. Well, can I just share a little piece of advice? DO NOT BEFRIEND THE NEIGHBOR. And by neighbor, I mean the late twenty-something guy who lives in the building next door who has a penchant for drinking too much, needs rides home at extremely late hours of the night, and who insists that there always be a drink in someone's hand. Don't get me wrong. Neighbor guy is great. He supplies us with an endless supply of after-the-weekend stories, makes us brinner on command, and changes lightbulbs quicker than any maintenance guy. He even goes to church with me. However, note that any evening spent with neighbor guy will end in a 6 a.m. bedtime. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. The point? I'm still sleeping the weekends away. The difference? Now there is a considerable amount of drinking and carrying on involved. And I have accomplices. Which really? Makes it all worth while. AND I now have a reason besides a rough week with my students to sleep. Hey. I like sleeping. Don't judge.

As far as enlarging my circle of friends? It might have grown. A bit. I mean, there is neighbor guy. And a few of my roommate's friends. But my old friends? The married-with-kids friends? I don't see them much. Sad, really. Hey. I'm too excited to see what crap neighbor guy is going to come up with to bother.